May 28th, 2010

xkcd sex

A post? How shocking!

I want a fucking hotel.

Fucking in this case should be used not as emphasis, but as description. I want a hotel in which people fuck. A lot. I want a hotel in which different floors and different rooms are devoted to different kinks. I want a hotel where some of the beds have cages under them, and others have restraints built into the walls.

And I want it to be mine all mine. Oh sure, friends can come and visit, and if there's any justice in the world I'll convince Frolicon to move to it, but in the grand scheme of things, it will be My Hotel.

And it will be quite a prestigious honour to be invited to work there. A rigorous application process will determine whether your oh-so-fuckable lips truly are, or if that perky ass is just gropable enough. Everyone, from maids to janitors to cook-staff and the receptionist will be selected on a mixture of practicality, skill, and fuckability. I do so appreciate a nicely fuckable maid, in a cute little outfit. Maybe invest in a proper uniform --short skirts all around, with ruffles! Sure, it's been done, but sometimes we must accept that there is a reason the classics are considered thus.

Perhaps I'll have to save some of these ideas for once I rule the world. Just think, once I have a gorgeous tall tower to rule from, perhaps this hotel could reside in eight or ten of the floors. Let's say...floors 18-27. Excellent, I'll get my architects right on this!

(Hmmm, sexy architects now there's an idea...I'll have to flesh out that one a bit later...just think of all the things you could do with the drafting tables alone!)