December 1st, 2010

xkcd sex

Unforeseen Difficulties

So, Christmas is coming, and I had a just brilliant idea for what to get my sir, that won't cost my broke self any money, and will make him exquisitely happy.

I want to give him a striptease. I guarantee that this will make him a *very* happy sir indeed, which is of course my principle goal in everything I do with him. But because I am a somewhat analytically minded person, and certainly a practically minded person, I want it to be absolutely perfect. I've never given a striptease before, so I can't just throw myself at him and assume it will go well.

So I chose a good piece of music, and I looked up some tips, and I arranged an outfit, and I...started practising! And that's where everything is going wrong. Because the practise?

I look sexy. I feel sexy. I absolutely am sexy. And because of that, all the thought I put into what gets removed when, and all the practise at pawing myself and removing clothing...well, it's all making me *really* horny.

And I have to wait for weeks before I can resolve this! What's a poor slut to do?

Hmm, guess I better practise some more. You know, so I'll be really good. For my sir.